Please remember I’m still unsure of my format and its a working progress, enjoy! 🙂
Episode/ Chapter 2 – Behind these brown eyes
Grand Central a corner café at the end of Royal Avenue Belfast, the streets and roads surrounding it are bustling with lunch time traffic. It’s bright but cloudy, the wind has picked up people on the street seem to be walking at an angle against some invisible force.
Emily sips on a black coffee, lifts an egg and bacon bagel to her lips, mouth watering she takes a huge bite. Just then Cara floats through the door, Emily wave’s mouth full of food she’s unable to make much in the way of an audible noise what with her mouth being crammed with food. Cara laughs and shakes her head, “you like the egg and bacon bagels then” finally able to swallow Emily manages “Awwwh yeah, bagels are my favourite and this is like second breakfast, I LOVE breakfast!! You getting anything?” “Nah just a coffee, stomachs a bit dodge still..” Cara half frown’s, grabs a waitress and orders a coffee. “So you got home ok, right?” Cara inquires “Yeah Gareth got me sorted with a taxi which was really cool, think it was put on the club account, hope that’s ok?” Emily questions naively wanting to open up the conversation, continuing to eat her bagel casually. “Yeah, yeah it’s all good, Blake told him to get you a taxi, make sure you got home ok.” She smiles but doesn’t go on to say much else, Emily is going to have to be more forward with her questions “So what’s the deal with Gareth anyway, just curious like?” Emily’s question seems to have infused some energy into Cara with eyes like saucers she questions “Oh my god, did you get off with him!?!” Emily just smiles and chomps on her bagel, sipping her coffee a little “Welllllll…!!!!” Cara seems like she’s ready to burst with excitement. “Ack we might have kissed a bit, all very tame though… He seems like a really nice fella, how well do you know him?” Cara moves in across the table toward Emily as though ready to give the low down “Don’t know loads, he sort of keeps to himself, but I know Blake and Gareth have been friends since primary school..” she only stops to take a drink of her coffee “he was dating this girl long term but broke up a couple of months back. She used to come into the club sometimes I didn’t think she was all that pretty… he might have got himself into a bit of debt I think Blake helped him out of a hole at some point” Ahhh Emily thought to herself that was obviously one of the reasons Gareth ran around after him. “Things with Blake and you went well, eh” Emily smiles broadly but senses Cara isn’t her normal bubbly self she seems a little low. “Ack yeah I had a good night, thanks for heading out with me Em…” she half smiles, “what’s up?” Emily inquires a little confused at first, she wasn’t totally switched on this morning hadn’t even finished her first cup of coffee! “It’s just me probably, we had a great night, great sex…[pause] but can’t help feeling that it isn’t going anywhere ya know” she looks a little sad “sex always changes things, its too easy to get attached, feel like I’m being a typical girl and he’s being a typical guy…. Ugh I guy that I now really like and want to date…” she trails off turns to gaze out the window, Emily’s not sure what to say only because (a) she’s just met Cara, who’s to say she’d listen to anything Emily had to say and (b) it wasn’t Emily’s life and she wouldn’t have to live with the consequences of Cara’s decisions.
“Ummm, well how long have you been on and off, isn’t it just a recent thing…?” Emily thought it best to let Cara tell her what she wanted, let her come to her own conclusions, believing we all hold the answers to our own problems. “It’s been a good six months…” Cara frowns “he said business was up and down when I first met him, this was why we could only meet of and on…” Cara looks down at her coffee, Emily notes her mood takes a nose dive! “Oh right, hey are you ok, think you’re hang over is makin’ everything seem worse, maybe things have been off with his business…” it was a half hearted excuse for a guy Emily knew was completely self centred. If she was right about his aura black attracted and absorbed light, Blake had attracted Cara who was a bright light of sorts and if she wasn’t careful she could unknowingly lose herself to him. Emily tried a different tact “Cara you’re gorgeous and if he doesn’t see it then he’s not for you…” sometimes the truth was helpful but Emily wasn’t sure this was the right moment, Cara’s vibe was a little erratic Emily couldn’t pin point how she felt, reminded her of when she was hormonal. “Thanks Em, you’re sweet, I’m premenstrual that’s all and plus the amount I drank last night was ridiculous…!!” she trails off looks out the window again.
Emily with a spade digging a hole in the front garden at her mother’s home, they hadn’t spoken for awhile but she’d needed Emily’s help today. It was a hole for a little body, one of Deborah’s cats had died there was no more room in the back garden as this house had belonged to Emily’s Grandmother and she had had numerous cats, it was becoming something of an animal cemetery. Emily paused before placing the cat in its final resting place she’d been fond of Blacky even though he acted slightly crazed at times. One minute he’d be purring away on your lap and the next moment he’d be trying to chew a finger off, awh yes he had been character alright Emily thought to herself. Gently as though he could feel every movement she settled him in his grave and began to cover him over. Putting the spade away in the shed she made for the kitchen, where she knew there’d be a cup of tea waiting.
Small talk ensues between Emily and her mother Deborah “so how have you been” Emily inquires “ok, works just work and well Blacky just took a turn didn’t expect it at all” Debbie sounding sad and confused. Emily’s mum and dad had been divorced for some time the cat was good company! “What about you then, started school yet” Debbie sounding interested. Emily was conscious her mum always had to ‘try’ with her she didn’t understand Emily and had told her as much years before. Bit of a strange feeling when the woman who’s raised you tells you she’s doesn’t know or understand you. But Emily had replied at the time it was ok because she knew her mother, it could be a difficult thing to accept a person, Emily still battled with this as though it were a bone of contention. “Aye school’s started met a couple of new people, I’ve a girl’s birthday party tonight.” Emily smiled and waited she knew some kind of slight would fall from her mother’s mouth any moment. “Oh well that’s nice dear, good to meet new people you always did have issues attracting good friends…” Debbie extends matter of factly and here we go thought Emily as she rolls her eyes trying desperately not to take the bate, it wouldn’t do any good. Smiling again she asks “So what are you up to this evening?” knowing full well her mum would be stuck in the house alone, loneliness part of the reason she could be such a negative bitter bitch. “Oh nothing probably, everyone seems to be doing something tonight, but I wouldn’t feel like going out now after the day I’ve had.” Debbie giving no emotion with her reply, ‘everyone’ meaning the couple of female friends she had who were either married or dating would be with their significant other!
Leaving now Emily says goodbye over her shoulder, digs her phone out of her bag intending on giving her brother an ear full via text. He probably hadn’t answered his phone earlier, Emily knows her mum would’ve tried him first as he was the ‘golden boy’ or balls as she would tease him. Sitting in her car she tries to let the visit with her mum wash over her, easier said than done there were years of unresolved issues, Emily was at a stage where she was trying to accept Debbie for who she was and move on, this visit had taken its toll, Emily needed a drink!
If there was anything that could make Emily regress, go back to the drink it was a visit with her mother. Sitting in Lynn’s living room surrounded by girls she’d never met really wasn’t the time to take to the bottle but Emily found herself drinking all the same, it would be a messy night. Chugging the remaining wine she hops into a taxi, the girl she’s squashed next to begins chatting with her “hey I’m Sandra” smiling she asks “so how do you know Lynn” “we worked in admin together, over the summer I was a temp, we kept in touch on Facebook” Emily is happy to make small talk with this girl she has a nice light energy. “How do you know Lynn” Emily’s interested “awh from school, I’m the token lesbian friend” she smiles and laughs lightly. Must be what they called a lip stick lesbian Emily thinks as this girl has a pretty bob hair style, natural make up paired with perfect bright red lips, wearing a cute blouse and mini skirt ensemble. Emily laughs in reply she likes how confident and comfortable this girl is with herself, makes Emily relax forget earlier in the day.
Out of the taxi and into the night club is a bit of a blur, at the bar one drink isn’t enough for Emily she was going for double the fun with two double bacardi’s, getting to know some of the other girls she was happy to mingle it was obvious though none of them were interested in who Emily was. Coaxing Lynn and couple of other girls onto the dance floor Emily gets her groove on, after a minute though of being in the zone she realises they’ve all gone and left her. This is most definitely a sign that she is way too drunk, especially since she thought she’d been pulling some pretty smart moves! Ugh she thinks to herself people are too concerned with how they look these days, so what if she got a bit crazy. She was slipping into a negative mode, she began to feel alone, insecure, painfully different and the worst of all feelings rejection. Heading to the bar she thought one more drink might make her feel better, a high pitched laughter rang out in her head, if it didn’t make her feel better maybe it would drown out her subconscious.
Emily against a wall sucking face with a random, reasonably attractive guy nothing wrong with a little kissing, then he feels the need to talk “So we gona head to my place” he smiles charmingly perhaps assuming he’s onto a winner. Just then she feels a poke at her shoulder and turns to find Lynn staring at her Emily notes a look of concern across her face, “heyyyy birthday girl how are you enjoying your night?” Emily turns to Lynn slurs her words and slumps to the side, the guy backs up and melts away into the crowd on the dance floor. “Think its time to get you home love” Lynn smiles softly as she grabs Emily round the waist and leads her to the main door, people seem to be leaving at this point, Emily’s unaware of the time Sandra’s voice seems to appear from nowhere “Ah you found her then, where was she…” both of their voices melt into the sound of the people all around, the traffic on the street, Emily’s head buzzes. She hated being this drunk, why was she SO drunk as though it couldn’t just be the drink, someone had given her a ciggy, never a good thing it always seemed to magnify her drunkeness must be something to do with the lack of oxygen to the brain! Laughter rings out in her head “yeah it was all the cigarette, hah” since opening up to her senses Emily noticed being drunk was different her mind was aware but her body refused to follow any type of command, her senses trapped in a cage that was her body. Slumped hanging on to Sandra now, she hears Lynn near by on the phone trying to get a taxi and in a moment of stupidity wanting to distract herself she manages to draw out a question “what’s it like being a lesbian… it must be easier right?” Emily extends in a polite curiosity, slumped at waist height both arms wrapped around Sandra mid drift, she sort of snorts “No its not any easier, I’ve just broken up with someone..” Oh god passes through Emily’s head thinking the sentence through she felt like a right twat and in a move to sound more thoughtful intelligible even “no it wouldn’t be would it… people are people no matter what..” trailing off as Sandra half drags Emily to a waiting taxi.
Cut to credits