So, as much as I’ve been moving forward with my own ‘evolvement’ I am reminded again and again, I shouldn’t get too head of myself as there is always work to be done. [long sigh]
I allow my ego to have a little shit fit [as I put it] I sort of huff for a bit, arms folded, first thought is I’m not a bit happy that it’s being highlighted – I’m not as evolved as I was beginning to allow myself to believe! That crafty ego is trying to trip me up, again – but in allowing myself to go through this process I am more aware my little fits only last half as long as they used to, this is progress in itself.
No really I could huff the whole day through and even into the next day if someone annoyed me, if I took offence at a comment or someone didn’t see my perspective. I was never as glad when I finally realised other people are ALLOWED to see what they want to see and it isn’t down to me to change that, PHEW, what a load off!! Now I wonder why/ how I ever spent so much time trying to make others see my point of view, silly really, accepting others is FAR easier and creates so much more of a positive presence, for everybody. *Please, feel free to disagree 🙂
So I was getting comfortable with the progression I had made in moving toward non-judgement of others, but my expectations of what others should be or how they should act was making me stall, and I couldn’t quite get myself back into gear. It can be difficult, you don’t quite understand what’s not right, but you’re fully aware something isn’t working.
You take a mature approach and look within, denial aids the illusion, it’s not your actions it’s others, you’re an evolving person, open minded, how could it be you. Pausing a partial truth seeps through, you second guess what the ego is thinking, it makes you pause again – a tiny bit of dread creeps in because you ARE aware, open minded and you realise there is more to it. Regardless of the issue, the size of the matter, there is always more to it. If you use that pause, stop all thought – have you ever stood still in a busy office, shopping centre, main street, taking in everything around you, your mind is still, movement slowed and you can see everybody so much clearer, it’s quite an amazing experience, please consider trying it if you haven’t, Oh, Oh, try it closer to Christmas and you’ll really notice how fabulous it can be!! 🙂
I believe, in allowing yourself to be imperfect you give yourself room to expand, to grow, not to reach perfect but rather to reach for a greater understanding. I’m one of those people though who also believes imperfection is perfect, there is a undeniable beauty more so than the social NEED for perfect. There is a depth, a substance that is random, erratic even it can’t be planned it’s not premeditated, when it happens, strikes it does so at the ‘perfect’ time in the ‘perfect’ place, making complete sense in the most fulfilling manner. There are no accurate words to describe this feeling, we would all use different descriptions…
don’t lose yourself to the struggle of judging others,
lose yourself instead to the process of self knowledge,
this in my mind is a journey of unadulterated perfection,
in the most imperfect way 🙂
love, light and healing
have a good week