There are many negative feelings that can make a person feel low, but one of my all time [favourite] dislikes is misplacing my trust in a person. Now this hasn’t happened to me in a while [touch wood quick!!] however it is one of those experiences that can take a person of any age by surprise! Hmmm, is surprise an adequate descriptive word, I think not, unexpectedness, sudden horror, sadness, disappointment, disillusionment the list goes on..
It can be such a difficult thing to recover from…
BUT recover you must 🙂
because if you have the ability to look over the issue that brought you to the experience with an honest perspective for everyone involved, you will in fact amass a wealth of answers with regard to WHO YOU ARE.
For many years I had a really bad habit of attracting people who were only interested in what I would/could do for them. Fair weathered friends, they weren’t the slightest bit interested in a ‘friend’ship. It took me a little longer than I would like to admit to catch on, realise, I was allowing these people to mistreat my feelings, good nature and self-worth. And so why would I do that, why would I continuously attract and allow someone to mistreat me.
Well there’s a million dollar question, right?!!
Psychology my dear Watson, psychology!
I believe it can be a real mixture of feelings, based on past experiences, the environment we grew up in even or routines that we were taught. Honesty is the only way to get to the core of yourself, it’s the only way to understand why you find yourself where you are now.
If that be, having people around you that don’t truly care for you or stuck in the wrong relationship because it’s become a routine and you’ve stopped being honest with yourself, maybe on the flip side you’ve been burned too many times by false friends so you avoid really getting to know people because you fear being hurt again.
These are all examples of situations that can be counter active to you positively progressing through life.
“Can be” counter active, have you noticed I leave loop holes – ha ha – it’s not because I’m not sure of what I’m saying it’s because I’m very sure that all situations, feelings, experiences are relevant. If we don’t have negative feelings and experiences we can’t know what is positive. If we don’t misplace our trust we don’t learn the characteristic’s or qualities that make a person trustworthy. So you see if we flip all of the above, the heavy negativity, if you allow yourself to release the embarrassment, awkwardness of feeling stupid, you were ‘wrong’ for trusting x, y or z or shameful you should have known better you’re old enough now. The ego won’t let you get away with much, a certain part of your mind will reinforce all these negative responses if you let them.
Many times have I sat down and retraced my thoughts, my ideas of a person, WHY had I liked them so much even when they let me down, WHY had I done so much for them when they had done so little for me. WHY had I allowed them to impact my life to this extent, better still why was I waiting for them to validate who I am.
There are simple steps to change, of course you have to want life to be different, want to step away from the drama that unfolds. You can’t expect to be overly judgmental towards others and not have that judgment revisited upon you. You can’t expect people who already mistreat you to stop unless you find your voice and tell them to stop. If you want people to treat you with kindness then you have to treat yourself that way to begin with.
Being kind to yourself will alter what you say yes and no to when someone asks a favour, and this will alter their perception of you. Kindness and love for yourself will ensure better decision-making, this will ripple out in your every day life.
Every now and then I catch myself just before I promise to bend over backwards for someone who wouldn’t do the same for me. You’ll know you’re on the right track when you politely refuse to comply to someone’s overly self-centred behaviour and their jaw swings open at the moment you refuse 😀
I’m still practicing but I’m on my way, there is the occasional person who tests my resolve. How well I regard myself ultimately impacts my happiness.
We can’t let our fear of being hurt stop us from living moments that if experienced would wondrously transform our outlook, life, making each of us smile instantly, without a shadow of regret!
have a happy week
show everyone just how much you care for yourself 😀
[because in caring for you, you’re caring for them]