To be beautiful – do you suppose all beautiful people are aware of their beauty? You might think I’m about to go down the path of one man’s meat is another man’s poison or beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I’m not. I think at this point in human evolution the majority of us realise this, anyone with half a wit can come to the understanding that a beautiful woman or man can be aesthetically pleasing to the eye but not attractive in character or manner.
What I’d love to chat about is people who are naturally beautiful in character and/or looks but aren’t ‘programmed’ to see this. In their childhood they aren’t brought up to SEE how fabulous they are. The reason I want to chat about it is because usually (a) it’s not clearly visible or understood, others misjudge the humble for being aloof when compliments aren’t received in the usual manner (b) this quality of not knowing the level of your beauty seems to be hugely attractive to others but it can also be viewed as a lack of self confidence.
There are layers in what I’m speaking, like most life topics. It is possible to have a beautiful person unaware of the affect they have on others while still being confident within themselves, just as it is possible to have an overly confident person with an inflated ego, think everyone adores them when the truth is their character is a huge turn off. It has struck me though that some people view this blindness as a weakness. I think it’s due to the culture we live in, beautiful people everywhere, and we’ve literally made what was once unattractive attractive, geek is all in vogue now and you’ll pay money to buy clothes that represent this ‘look’. X factor has dawned an era where you don’t actually need to be able to sing or have a beautiful voice to make money.
If you don’t use how you affect people to your own advantage it’s viewed as a waste. For why wouldn’t one person use their prowess on another to gain opportunity or advantage overall? Yet if we all influenced people less and let others make their own decisions would people be any happier. [There are ‘layers’ to influencing, I could make a branch off conversation, a whole new blog for it alone, please feel free to leave a comment if it interests you:] My mind has already come full circle, it’s a paradox of sorts I’ve decided, perhaps another parallel world that we all are living. It would change our world because everyone would treat each other differently. Makes me think of the only episode I remember seeing of the Twilight Zone where this beautiful lady wakes up in a world where she is ugly and everyone around her has distorted ugly faces but are viewed as beautiful. There is real pity in all of their eyes for this terribly ugly [beautiful] woman.
Imagining now all the children growing up and how important it is to give them a healthy level of self confidence. Each of them being able to look back in adult years and know that their parents instilled [programmed] knowledge of their worth, beauty and uniqueness. It’s easy to forget to tell someone they’re appealing “you look good today” and then smile fondly. And if you weren’t given this as a child it’s possible the idea wouldn’t even dawn on you. Perhaps there is some psychology you hold that tells you it’s soft to mention pleasantries every day, you prefer to joke around toughen people up by making fun of their individuality because this is what you grew up with. Nice words are only reserved for poignant moments such as the occasional birthday, a wedding day or perhaps towards the end of a persons life as they lie dying, pride/ego falling away giving them their last moments.
I would like to try with all my strength, convince you, that now is the time to reconsider how you speak to others.
Children should see adults compliment each other in a loving manner, should be told how handsome or pretty they look not to reinforce the twisted culture of “beautiful” and all that goes with the ‘industry’ but because each of us are born sufficient, we are enough “thy grace is sufficient for thee” [2 Corinthians 12:9]. Sadly what most of us are taught as we grow is the opposite of this truth.
An understanding of how our children think should be validated regardless of how silly it appears to any adult. My son surprises me with his unique perspective on our world. Us adults too readily forget how simple and fun life should be, busy living in a world where bills are imminent and never ending. When life gets a bit much at times I think to myself what if ‘The Day After Tomorrow’ actually happened, then all my cares [momentarily] fly out the window! Momentarily, that’s all we really need to switch our thinking, just one moment of pause.
It’s an opportunity just waiting to happen,
if you’ll only allow it.
love and happiness to you all