Clearing the air


I thought it would be good to shed some light on Sarah’s date 38.

Sometimes I try to keep details of a topic to a minimum, from responses received I realise this can cause confusion.  However at times I believe it can be a better strategy for opening up a dialogue and creating a broader topic for conversation on situations experienced throughout life.

I firmly believe there is a rhythm to all of life, movement that keeps the world turning.  From an artists perspective there are only so many musical combinations from which to creative a new song, story beats to weave a novel or movie and so on.  Nowadays art is created from art, we all see or experience life with a unique perspective which causes our experiences to be heard, felt and viewed differently.

If I rotate the conversation, place this idea against another back drop, adjust it to people’s feelings.

I have noticed there are core feelings – positive and negative we all experience under various circumstances.  If you read through my date 38 you could be forgiven for thinking I was in serious trouble, perhaps involved in some legal matter for example.  I kept the topic general because the negative emotions I was experiencing, anger, annoyance, rash thoughts and sleepless nights could actually be the result of a variety of issues, plus not everyone out there has children.  My hope was to express how negative emotions can be worked through, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and regardless of any amount of lies if you try to remain honest in your delivery of events the truth will be made known eventually. [it may take longer but it will always prevail]

My son was being bullied, and although I have experienced other children not ‘playing nice’ with him whether at mum and tots or in the local park.  I couldn’t have realised how unprepared I was to deal with the emotional triggers that came hand in hand with bullying.  I’m sure we’ve all gone through those moments in life where we have to understand and deal with people who don’t like us and if it becomes an issue at times we have to take it further which means sitting down and explaining ourselves in front of complete strangers.  This can prove a daunting task and for me in the context that I had to put myself across it personally took every ounce of energy within me.

Having only one child I found myself in a new situation, my hopes in part blinded my view to the harsh reality of bullying in schools.  My son’s teacher proved difficult at best because she did not see any signs of bullying in her classroom she was dismissive from the outset, putting his unhappiness down to a stage.  Disregarding my son’s behaviour outside of school, I was having to deal with an angry, confused, annoyed little boy.  Let me give you all a gauge to work from my son would literally hop and skip into to school singing to himself, this was observed by his classroom assistant and she was so taken aback at just how happy he was she mentioned it to me.  I was over the moon that Lucas displayed [for all to see] a high level of confidence and happiness.

So when he was reluctant to go to school and this reluctance turned to adamance, he literally had to be dragged into class crying and struggling I could tell it was more than a ‘stage’.  After a number of informal conversations I realised his teacher wasn’t taking my concerns seriously so I made a formal appointment hoping we could get to the bottom of what was upsetting my son.

Again let me set the scene, his teacher is late fifties if not early sixties having been in education a long time there seems to be nothing she doesn’t know.  As we enter the classroom the teacher said she has no other seats and gives me a child size chair to sit in, while she props herself on a classroom table above me, instantly I am aware of being made to feel like a child.  Had I not recognised her strategy straight away the outcome of the meeting could have been far worse.  In taking a dominant stance over me I sensed she was forcing an upper hand, undermining my feelings and point of view this merely spoke volumes about who she is.  Sadly my son’s happiness deteriorated further all the while his teacher again and again convinced me she saw no signs of bullying.

Since this I have had a meeting with the principle, it was clear to me Lucas’ teacher had ample time to put her views across, I was given a twenty-minute slot which because of the type of bullying was stretched to fifty minutes.  Even though the principle was more open it was clear he had preconceived idea’s of me and my intentions.  It was clear [to me] neither the teacher or principle have come across a parent of a bullied child who wants nothing but happiness for the other side of the equation.  Meaning my outlook is such that I do not believe I can obtain happiness unless everyone within the equation obtains happiness, this can be adjusted locally or globally.  If we apply that statement to this topic meaning I would like nothing more than the child who was bullying my son to be happy within himself because then there would be no bullying.  Happy children do not bully each other, confused, angry, upset, fearful children bully and the same could be said for adults [who bully].

This experience has done nothing but enforce the need for social change, and I will do everything in my power as I grow and meet people to encourage change for the better.

Below are some links that may be useful for anyone who’s child maybe experiencing bullying.  Stay strong, keep moving forward, don’t stop until you find the help that you need.

http://www.crisisprevention.com/Resources/Article-Library/Nonviolent-Crisis-Intervention-Training-Articles/Traumatic-Effects-of-Bullying-Children

http://www.kidshelp.com.au/grownups/news-research/hot-topics/bullying.php

http://www.education-support.org.uk/parents/special-education/dars/dars-faqs/

http://plan-international.org/learnwithoutfear/files/positive-discipline-training-manual-vietnam-6

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Hafiz

be well

sd

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One thought on “Clearing the air

  1. Very well said!!! It’s bad enough that Lucas is/was getting bullied, but it’s a disgrace that the teachers have that attitude….in ways, that’s worse than the bullying!! The teacher sounds like an auld-biddie, who’s been institutionalized too long; and who taught in an era when behaviour like bullying was “acceptable”, or blind-eyes were turned!! 😦
    I hope you got your point accross Sarah, and hope Lucas is happier too!!….All schools have a board remember, so don’t be afraid to go there if you’re not satisfied!! 🙂

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