Wherever the wind blows me

I find myself in a different type of limbo, I’m not unsure of who I am, I’m not unsure of what I can achieve but there is a period of time which must pass before I can act.

I’ve maintained for some time, there are levels to all situations, people’s characters, music, art, industry, wishful thinking, decisive actions and so on.  Coming at it from another angle, how long to do you cook a carrot, some people like their carrots soft, some with a bite and if we’re not talking carrots we could say there’s more than one way to cook an egg, that is unless you don’t like eggs or you’re allergic! – see why I put a carrot in there 😀

It has come to light that my son is being bullied [again], I listened to his school at the end of last year, I took what the principle and teacher had to say on board and was swayed by their ‘professional’ experience.  Of course there are other factors.  But when my son admitted that another child had put his hands around my his neck in the playground, I could only give way to the sinking feeling that washed over me.  Some people may find they step through a door into limbo, others might not even realize they’ve slipped into the feeling, for me I sank.

My mind may have followed suit with my heart, because once I realized he was being bullied again, I also realized I had been missing the signs, I wasn’t in tune with him now as I had once been when the bullying initially occurred last year.  Why?? Because I’ve been back at work, I’ve had the distractions of trying to build us both a better life…. and STOP.

How great would this ‘better’ life be if my son’s confidence was non-existent, if his self-worth and happiness were diminished?  If I held out convincing myself, it’s ok, the school said he’s fine and once I get the money sorted once he has bigger and better toys to play with or when he can go to all those after school clubs or once I redecorate his bedroom it’ll all be fine.

Adults and children alike we’re all now trained to seek happiness in objects, instead of through each other, whether it’s a favourite food, clothes brand or video game – lose yourself, stack your issues/ our issues to the back of your tired mind.

I had a blog ready for last Monday, I was going to post it after I got my son into bed – doorways and twinkling lights – it was about how Monday is inoffensive in its intentions, simply leading us into the next day and through the week… the sinking feeling sort of got in the way :/

I have to look at myself during this time of inaction, try to move beyond the emotion of “how dare someone bully my son”, work with memories of my school years, or perhaps the seeping dread that this type of issue still raises its ugly head even today.

Honestly though I’ve heard it said and have often agreed – how a school chooses to deal with the issue/ subject of bullying is fundamental in resolving the problem.

I could bring myself to a negative place in my mind, allow condescending remarks from childcare professionals to keep me in a place of indecision and doubt.  Be swayed by professional people with unbelieving eyes, desperate in their actions of inaction, trying to maintain a vessel that is no longer worthy, a system that serves no one…. Why?? Long standing establishments or organizations with flawless reputations can be tricky to preserve, era’s come to a close, new dawns bring new generations, changes, new idea’s.  Growing pains create cracks in a once polished exterior, EGO tries [but fails] to glue the cracks together, arrogance blinds the mind and all the while the wheels are steadily moving away from the body.

Maintaining the happiness of the people who make up the organization or establishment would automatically maintain/secure its reputation.  One of those happy people would undoubtedly polish the pretty sign on the front door from time to time, insuring the pristine, sheen never looses its appeal.

A kind mind welcomes all to the table,

an open mind listens to all that is said,

a wise mind acts through love of all.

Albert Einstein1       Albert Einstein2

As a person I have to ask myself I am experiencing this because I can change anything about the present manner in which this school deals with bullying.  If I simply slip into the shadows of inaction what happens to the next parent?

If I tell this school through non verbal inaction their management of bullying is appropriate what happens to the other child.  What of the child who is inappropriately acting out, what if no one queries his unhappiness – you don’t actually believe happy children bully, do you??

But then you must think me crazy, how, why would I care for a child who is harming my own…

Would you believe me if I told you “I think you’re crazier” if you would turn away from this other child.

Big changes begin with small actions, look at yourself this week,

don’t look at what you can not achieve but look at what you can,

we are all slightly different in our design,

not to be separate from one another,

but rather to ensure we fit together flawlessly.

best wishes for the week ahead.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s