It can be difficult to change any aspect of who you are and not just on a spiritual level, simple changes that other people associate or characterize you by can be frowned upon.
Maybe you wake up one morning and decide you’re going to SAVE the world in elementary ways each day, in an effort to become environmentally friendly you get rid of your wagon, you’re going to make your way on foot! For all the rich folk, perhaps you decide to sell one of your oil rigs, ho ho ho, its Christmas and you think hey wouldn’t it be beautiful to feed the starving children of the world – No – Ok, but I’m telling you that could be happening in a parallel world as I type this blog.
Back to selling your car – you may come to realize only through selling an item people around you aren’t happy, perhaps they even try to put you off selling. Why, well if you happen to visit them regularly they may naturally be FEARFUL of losing their connection with you.
And it may in fact be a strange notion, friends or family becoming annoyed with you for shedding unwanted items or even changing career. Perhaps you want to move yourself toward a different life style and it’s confusing when others don’t understand or support your choices.
I believe this type of scenario happens throughout everyone’s life at various stages and if you’re not the type of person that ever changes anything you might find your family and friends completely gob-smacked or even resistant. People get used to routine, we are for the most part creatures of habit, sure we all love watching movies where characters break the mold, the norm, someone loses their job, their girlfriend/boyfriend, they flog all their possessions and set off across the world to find themselves.
Generally this idea is fabulous, apparently for a movie character but if your 16-year-old daughter decided she wanted to set off into the unknown I bet more than a few dads out there would take a buckle in their eye! Equally what if your 80-year-old granny wanted to take off around the world how many families realistically would really be happy with this. And if I had said your 16-year-old son or 80-year-old granddad would it have made the thoughts in your head any different?
Well for some it would and for others it would not.
Does your daughter or son know how to boil an egg?
What about your granny or granddad’s health, is it good?
Do either of the above questions matter?
Well to some they will and to others they will not.
In real-time all of us non movie-character-type people generally don’t like it when our routine/ habits are broken. We’re not much for people acting outside of what they’ve been brought up or programmed to. Of course this is unrealistic as it causes drama and untold damage.
Take a young couple, they’re childhood sweethearts, they know each other inside and outside, back to front – you get the idea.
We’re all ever-changing though;
our minds – with each book or billboard we read.
our physical bodies – with each year and choc chip muffin we eat, not to mention if one of the two has a child!
our emotions – as each of us work through the skeletons in our closet not to mention work related stresses!
our sexuality – What?!? Maybe one of the two people wants something other than missionary with the lights off!
[I mean come on now, 35 years plus of missionary with the lights off, I’m thinking one of the two people has replaced themselves by the seventh year and oh goodness how much of a survivor are they for going seven years…. begs the question, who are you being intimate with?]
There are many variables, Threads to life;http://artfabrik.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/DSCN0298.jpg
What would you do or say to your partner [for all those who have yet to experience long-term companionship] if they read a book and decided to try (a) new religion, outlook (b) number of new fad diets (c) a new sexual position?
How have those of you in a long-term relationship responded when your rock solid dynamic has been challenged by the idea of something new (a) openly (b) been dismissive (c) ignored altogether?
Honesty is the key here…
For everyone dreaming up the perfect relationship where you all respond in the perfect way, there are butterflies and bubbles – be careful, because if you dream of responding in the perfect way you will absolutely have to live with the consequences, knock on effects. Your perfect relationship may turn out to be less than you dreamed.
What if reading that book about fad diets transformed a healthy, reasonable person into a calorie counting, obsessive compulsive, nervous wreck, confidence shattered over time, you grin and bear the changes until you don’t recognize the person you first fell in love with – would you walk away or stay?
What if your partners sexual appetite changes, one person is getting less attention or equally unfortunate the other is finding it difficult to keep up! Or what if your partner admits to having bisexual tendencies? [Just keeping it modern folks]
And for all those who are up to their necks in relationship controversies are you responding, openly, being dismissive or are you ignoring all signs of change – will this lead you to walk away or stay?
Hey why don’t I just broaden the terms here a little, I bet when I said above “take a young couple” the majority of you thought boy meets girl, right?
Well what if I meant two women or two men.
Guess what – you can apply any relationship issue to any type of relationship.
Honesty is key here…
What stops us all from understanding our individual experiences TRANSCEND gender, time and social conditioning?
Don’t be fearful… have a read, this blog was inspired by Threads the book.
Understanding others is understanding yourself.